Weird Dreams: episode four

Today's weird dream is brought to you by a granola bar eaten at three in the morning...

I'm at a restaurant with my family. Me, Kyle, the kids, some of our cousins and their kids.  Everyone is eating and talking. I smile.  I love being with my family.  In a dark corner, I notice a man staring at us.  I can't tell what he looks like because he's got a bunny hug on and a baseball hat.  Everything he's wearing is black.  He takes a sip of coffee and his eyes meet mine.  Somehow, I know I'm supposed to go to him.  

I get up, telling Kyle the man is here and I'll be right back.  He tells me to be careful.  No one can see what's happening.  I can tell he's watching me as I get up and head to the bathroom.  A few minutes later, I hear the door open and someone walks in.  

"I'm in here."

The man's footsteps enter the stall next to mine.  "You're sure your family is ready for this?"

I nod even though he can't see me.  "We are."

He hands me a small package from under the divider.  "You have five hours."

I hear him leave and take my time exiting the bathroom with the cell phone sized package tucked in my back pocket.

Kyle exhales the breath he's been holding as I sit back down beside him.  Everyone is looking at me.

"We have five hours."  I pull the package out, taking the elastic off that's holding instructions against it. 

Welcome
The rules are simple.
1. take the packages to HIM by any means necessary
2. at least two of your team members must be at the final point

The restaurant doors burst open and a group of military guys come running up to us.

"They're coming! We have to go now! Brumby and Stinker will take the kids to a secure location!"  

Everyone gives the kids a quick hug.  

Emery kisses me on the cheek.  "You can do this, mom."

I take a deep breath and watch as the kids grin and run to the tank they get to ride in.  "Let's do it."

We run and get on our bicycles, pedaling down a back alley as fast as we can.  I feel the package slipping out of my pocket and decided to hang it around my neck by the chord it's attached to.  We make it to a tall skyscraper made completely of  windows.

Cheryl, Courtney, and Dwayne Johnson watch as Kyle and I run into the building.

"We'll meet you in the field!" yells Cheryl before pedaling away, the three of them accompanied by three guards.

"Where is it?"  Kyle stops me from getting on the elevator.

"Tenth floor."  

"They'll expect the elevator."

"Yeah."  I head to the stairway and we start to head up.

"Here! We can travel through the vents.  Bucky, give us a boost."

Kyle follows me in and passes me the gun Bucky has given him before pulling the other man up to join us.

The trip through the vents is exhausting and long.  Maybe this was a bad idea.  Maybe we won't have enough time.  In my mind, I've been counting the turns and floors.

"Here.  This is where we need to get out."

We drop into an office and quickly hide behind a large desk.  

A man with green scales for skin pauses and peeks in.

"They beat us here."  Bucky makes sure his safety is off and I do the same.  

Kyle attaches the silencer to his weapon.  "You know what sucks? They blend in.  We don't."

"I have to get to the back office."  I point in the direction I need to go.  The lights go out and I slip on my night vision goggles.  "Thanks god for Sparky."

Kyle grins.  "Let's go."

We manage to slip past a couple of office workers without being detected.  Bucky swings open the back office door .  His gun goes off twice and two bodies drop to the ground.  I kick open a closet door and shoot the manager who was hiding in it.

"It's in here."  I grab the box with the symbol on it that matches the package around my neck.

"Everybody freeze!"  

I see Bucky swing his gun around to take down the threat, but not quickly enough.  The building guard's gun goes off and Bucky falls to the ground.  Kyle grabs a chair and smashes the window open.

"Go, Mi!"  He shoots one guard and drops as he gets hit in the leg.  With a grunt, he throws himself at the men in the doorway.

"Kyle!"

"Go! Finish this!"  He takes another round in the chest and the last thing I see as I launch myself out of the tenth story window is his body falling to the ground.

I pull my parachute chord, knowing it's not going to do much to slow me down at this height.

"Hang on!"  Sparky groans as he attempts to catch me and I smash him into the asphalt.  "Bucky and Kyle?"

I shake my head and swallow hard.  "Gone."

"Come on."  He squeezes my arm.  "We have to keep going."  He stuffs the box in the big pocket on his pant leg and we take off running.

"We have to get to the field."  I duck into a back alley to get out of view.  Sparky peeks around the corner to make sure we aren't being followed.

"Let's go."  He leads to way until we're laying behind some bushes at the edge of the field.

"Shit."  Cheryl, Courtney, and Dwayne are tied to posts, surrounded by twenty plus enemy soldiers.  All I can think about is shooting each and everyone of them in their scaly green faces.

"Where do we find the package?"

I look through my scope.  "There.  They have it sitting by our team."

"Bastards.  Do they really think we're just going to stroll in there?"

We glance at each other and grin.  Making sure all of our weapons are loaded and ready, we stand and start shooting.

Chaos ensues as the enemy scrambles to recoup from our surprise.  Cheryl manages to get loose and tackles a panicked guard, stealing his weapon and shooting him before joining in the massacre.  Sparky reaches the package and stuffs it into his other leg pocket.  He quickly cuts down Courtney and Dwayne and gives them weapons.  

"Come on!"  I lead the way into the woods, glancing at my watch.  "We have an hour!"

I try not to feel excited.  We have all three packages.  Now, we just have to get it to HIM. 

Cheryl takes a shot to side and falls.  Dwayne covers her and takes three to the back.  He pushes his weapon toward Courtney.  "Go."

Courtney, Sparky, and I dash through the woods breaking out into the open of a parking lot.  We can hear the others behind us.  A quick scan confirms we aren't going to be ambushed and we go crashing through the front doors.

HE is waiting for us, his white suit pristine as HE sits behind a table.  HE stands.  

Sparky and I stumble forward, out of breath, holding out the packages for HIM. HE takes them, opens them, and scrutinizes them.  HIS eyes meet mine and he grins.

"Congratulations.  You've done it."

Gordon Ramsay takes the secret ingredients for the best hot chocolate on earth and heads off into the kitchen to make us some.

The kids come running up to us, excited to taste the treat.

We all turn as the lizard men some strolling into restaurant.  

Sheldon and the others pull off their lizard masks.  "Man, these things are bloody hot."

Everyone laughs and I hand him a glass of water.  Kyle gives me a hug, still wiping the paint from the paint balls off of his sleeve.

"I can't believe you jumped out of that building!"  Bucky grins with a shake of his head.

I burst out laughing, remembering it.  "Me neither!"

"That was kickass!"

We all sit as Gordon comes back with the hot chocolate and the only sound is thirsty slurps.  

"What are you going to make next time?"

He shrugs.  "It's a surprise."

"Can you make a cake?" asks Ashtynn.

Gordon shrugs.  "Is that what all of  you want?"

All the kids nod enthusiastically.  

Sparky stretches his arms over his head.  "I'm sorta glad it's the kids' turn next weekend.  I'm wrecked."

The adults all agree and the teams are picked for the following weekend fun of paintaball mob boss chef adventures.

Weird Dreams: episode one

So, last night, I had a cookie before bed.  Yeah.  I know.  Big mistake.  Eating anything before bed guarantees I'll have at least one hell of a messed up dream.  So, here it is.  THE cookie induced dream.

I awoke this morning with a smile.  The night had gone well.  I'd gotten my required eight hours and the kids had slept through the night.  I stretched and sighed before getting up to get some coffee.  As the pot brews, I glance out the window to survey the back yard.  I frown.  Something seems different. I follow the movement of the flies and other insects as they move from grass blades to flowers. I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Ignoring the now finished coffee, I swing open the back door and freeze in shock. my back gate is wide open and everything is GONE! The shed, the table, the chairs, the garden decorations... Even all of my vegetables, flowers and bushes!  Gone!  My yard is now completely empty.  The only clue is a set of truck tracks in the snow.  Yeah.  Snow. 

I pull out my phone and bring up my alarm app.  I'll have the bastards on video!  I scroll through the different clips and my stomach drops.  What the hell? Nothing! Not one clip that has any evidence of the culprit.  Just one that shows my yard gates start to swing open and the next a shot of them wide open and my yard empty. I turn the app off and run inside to check the app on my laptop.  There! There's a snapshot on the laptop that wasn't on my phone.  Weird.  My anger flares.  The photo managed to catch the back end of a trailer as it was leaving my yard.  And I know that trailer.

A holler outside sends me running back to the yard.  There, I can hear my neighbours yelling in anger. We all meet in the alley.

"Someone emptied my yard!" complains one. 

"I have nothing left!"

"Who would do such a thing?"

"I know who it was," I growl.  "I'll be right back."  I jump into my Jeep and race to my cousin's house.

"Shelley!  Open up!"  I stomp into the house.

Shelley smiles and holds out a freshly baked cake.  "Cake?"

"No, I don't want any cake.  I want my shit back.  And my neighbours want their shit back.  What the hell, Shelley!!"

My niece, Chelsea, snorts.  "I told you she'd know."

Shelley's face goes from cheerful to menacing.

She pulls out a knife from under her cake and stabs at me while Chelsea laughs.  I counter by pulling my belt out of the loops on my jeans.  It turns into an electrified whip.  It sparks as it starts to rain in the living room.

"Why did you take it?"  I whip in her direction then pull back in an arc, aiming at my niece who has picked up a sword.  "What have I ever done to you?"

The pair have turned into half naked hairy fairies and their weapons have turned into wands.

"Give us your teeth!"

"I don't friggin thinks so!"  I dash outside and find myself in a room with no furniture.  A large window takes up most of the far wall, though it is so dirty, I can't see through it.  The floor is covered in a layer of dirt so think it feels like I'm walking through snow.

Crunch.  I cringe.  What did I step on? Another step forward and another crunch.  I squat and run a finger through the dust, trying not to cringe. It comes into contact with something hard.  A rock?  I gingerly pick it up between thumb and forefinger.  

"Oh, gross."  It's a tooth.  A molar.  I drop it back into its dusty resting place.

"That's my tooth."  An old, scrawny fairy sits up from under the dust.

"All my teeth are here somewhere."

"Ummm..." 

"It's alright.  When a tooth fairy starts to lose his teeth, that's the beginning of the end.  Soon they'll be dust and then it will be my turn."

"So, this dust is all fairy dust?"

He nodded.  

"Gross."  I wrinkled my nose then caught myself.  "Sorry."  Fairy dust.  The word kept rolling around in my head.  "I wonder..."

I took a handful and sprinkled it over my head.  "Happy thoughts.  Think happy thoughts."

The old toothless fairy burst out laughing then was caught up in a fit of coughing and wheezing.  "Idiot."

"Shut up, Dusty."  

He grumbled something I couldn't hear.  

"How the hell am I supposed to get out of here?"  Despair was starting to set in.

"It's called a door."  He pointed behind me.

Not willing to have it disappear as quickly as it had appeared, I swung it open and dashed through.

"Surprise!"

I stopped short, flabbergasted to find myself in my own backyard.  The grass had just been cut, the flowers had been freshly watered, and a bowl of fresh garden veggies sat atop my table.  

Shelley stepped forward, cake in hand.  "Happy birthday!"

I laughed.  "Awww. Thanks!"  Pausing, I gave her the once over then moved on to Chelsea.  

"What?"  My niece grinned.

"Nothing."

And with that, we all sat down to eat cake... which somehow ended up being a cookie when I put it in my mouth.

Until next time, remember: don't eat before bed!